I found the Philosopher’s Stone…in Edinburgh.

And I talked to the Trees about Fame, Family and War….

I…mean - I just looked it up - not the “philosopher’s stone” in the alchemical elixir to turn lead into gold sense.

But like, a Literal STONE - big enough to sit and philosophize on. So I found a new favorite spot today in Edinburgh!

…Well - actually 3 new favorite spots within one epic area…but I digress - I want to focus on the first spot I found - which was the stone, where I sat & smoked & spoke with the Trees.

I set out on my adventure this afternoon after an emotionally draining morning of family drama. The mission was to find the little bookstore my mom told me about and a spot with Wi-Fi to research PHD options & fill out MORE job applications….So naturally I ended up in the woods on the side of a mountain. Cuz that’s how we roll lmao!

The conversation with the trees was very insightful. I was thinking again about fame - something that has a lot to do with connection….(This is going to seem like an unrelated tangent) BUT - My mom and I had a tough conversation this morning - she is going through it…although - she is ALWAYS going through it - and she was once again attempting to ease and regulate her emotional state through dumping all the hurt and negativity she carries onto everyone else so they can feel her pain. She is an incredibly selfless woman…which makes her also an incredibly resentful one. She has given her all to everything and gotten nothing but absolute dog shit in return. I absolutely love her, and I absolutely empathize with her - but I absolutely cannot help her because as much as she begs for help she is never actually in a position to receive it. She is firmly encased in a victim mentality and is literally always too busy giving - giving - giving - (whether that is good energy or bad)… She always gives - never takes. This means that even when she’s asking for relief she is hoping that someone or something will TAKE the pain away from her - rather than allowing herself to actually RECEIVE the medicine from anyone.

So, I have almost stopped trying to help - there is nothing I can do. There are so many things I would like to say, so many things I have learned from my experience in life that I know might help. But as her ‘naïve, magical thinking” daughter - she doesn’t allow it from me. But it’s not like she would even allow it from a licensed medical professional - they’d have to somehow absolutely overpower her to earn her respect - or idk - idk what they would have to do to get her to listen - but that is beside the point because although she claims to want to die - she hasn’t considered seeking therapy….and I can’t say shit about that lmao….I am absolutely her daughter - and on this - am totally the same!

But I have humbled myself to seek professional help before - and do seek help (or I try…) in other ways all the time….Anyways - I am supposed to be talking about the trees but I promise this has relevance! So as I said - for the most part have stopped trying - except today she was really pitiful, and I couldn’t help but attempt to put in my 2 cents. The transaction did not go through - but we did talk about what she thinks the meaning of life is - and she said it’s about “Connection”.

And then she proceeded to (Rightfully) accuse me of being afraid of connection.

She’s absolutely correct - I am afraid of connection.

Lol - and as I am writing this, I can say - “well duh - it can be very hard to feel great about connection when the closest connection I have is never able to receive the connection I actually have to offer.”

But anyways - I was talking to the tree’s about fame - which has a lot to do with connection - and they were telling me about how they are always in constant connection and communication…and yet they stay firmly planted were they are. So I was wondering if there are any trees that are particularly “famous” - that they know about or get influenced by from far away? Like - you know how some trees are super tall, old, majestic, beautiful, etc - and then there are standard seeming shrubs, and trees we just walk by and think nothing of?

Are the “amazing” trees - in the tree world…”Famous”?

And I was like…no way - because trees don’t have the internet - they may connect via a network of roots underground - but how could they hear about or talk to trees across the seas? And that’s when they said: “yeah but the underground network is not our only form of communication. We are also connecting, communicating & interfacing with the wind - and we can also send & receive messages through insects or animals or agents or entities.” And then I heard someone say “it’s y’all humans who are the only ones who don’t know how to communicate like this”….lmao - anyways

So I was like - Ohhhhh….So you mean - your world really is JUST like ours in a lot of ways?

And they said - yeah….pretty much. We live in communities - and some of them are very integrated - where there are all types of transplants and different kinds of trees (Like cities) - and then there are some areas where trees were planted, or only a certain type grows there. They are like tribes and they have their own legacies and cultures and histories - and we can know about them like you can know about other people and cultures across the world. And I was like - ok so you know about these other “famous” trees - and you can communicate with them but you can never actually visit them….and then there were some thoughts on how trees have spirits and perhaps they do travel - and perhaps in the winter when the trees “die” - it’s just their spirit gone on a tropical vacation lmao….but I can’t say whether this was an idea I really got from the trees or if this came from elsewhere.

But annnyways - the trees did say they do know about bit about fame - but they emphasized that it is about the connections….the most famous trees just have a lot of connections, and to do that, they stay firmly rooted. They connect deeply, they communicate, they receive enrichment, they gather strength, and they grow.

But then I noticed a tree kinda chilling out somewhere on its own…and it reminded me of me - being so different and alone but wanting “fame”. I asked - what happens when a tree is out on its own and doesn’t have community and connection near by?

And that tree said: “Well if you want community - you have to produce.”

And that hit me cuz like….Daaaammmmn - You Right.

Because it’s through their “production” - their flowers & the spreading of their seeds - that eventually they get to build a community around them.

And then I paid some attention to a smaller tree growing right up under the one who told me to ‘Produce” - and I noticed how that tree seemed a bit like it might want to take over and cramp the OG’s style in the future….and it’s none of my business trying to psycho-analyze their relationship - I don’t know if they are related or if the little guy is just a hater or whatnot - but it got me thinking about the troubles trees go through.

Because they are just like us right? - just with longer lifespans and different bodily functions. So - they have all this sophisticated communication and everything seems “good” - but it’s not all good. Some trees get sick, some whole communities get sick or under attack, and just like us - they have a lot of shit going on.

And so I asked if the trees experience War?

And it took a moment for them to answer - but they sad yes, of course….Both in that - deforestation & other destructive practices are kind of like a physical form of war for them - and in the general sense that war on earth is a kind of sickness or disease…Dis-ease - and our wars are felt by them as well. In the way that we are all one - all a part of this planet and everything that happens here is interconnected and impacts the whole in one way or another - so yes - they experience war.

And so I was like - well damn…how if you can’t physically move or fight back - do you handle war?

And there was one tree waving as if he wanted to answer - so I looked at him and closed my eyes and he sent me this image of a heart and said simply: “we send it love.”

The dark spots and the communities struggling and going through it - we recognize and we feel and experience it and we can’t physically fight back in the same way - but through our network we send them love - which is more than “thought’s and prayers” - it is LOVE…like the actual vibration and energy of it.

And then I was hit with the thought of my mom again and the wars she fights every day….the fact that she is across the world from me and that even if she where here - I couldn’t physically do anything to help her - her battles are entirely her own.

But the trees told me I could still connect - she is family and the roots to her are not in the ground - but they exist…and I can physically send her Love. I can CONNECT through those roots and feed her the vibrational energy & nutrients of love - which is much more than “thought’s and prayers”….

….and I started to do that - but then I got scared that she might actually perceive & feel it…and reject it.

And the IRONY of that is absolutely not lost on me.

Anyways….who know’s if I was actually talking to the trees while I was stoned on this stone - or if I was just…stoned on the stone.

But then the trees DID send me an I-Ching Reading!!! - But I will get into that in another post.

Sending LOVE!

Xoxo - Garbage Gal